@ work

Today is a pretty hectic day.
Yet i found some time to write a blog.

Already today i've had a coffee,
recorded the weather,
set up the news and ad list for the morning show,
had a coffee,
conduct three interviews,
had a coffee,
writen, edited and recorded my editorial,
had a coffee,
and now i'm currently organising the voicing of scripts for station promos for the breakfast program, the morning show, the midday news hour, the week day mix, the afternoon music mix, plus the weekend programming.

Oh, and i'm having a coffee.
But far out i miss you. Like crazy. Its been a good few months since i've seen you, and it seems like its been forever.


But the funny thing is, i almost enjoy the anguish of not talking to you anymore.
Because i know for a fact that you can't do it to me again. It's happened three times now, and going by what you said, this was it for good. So i don't need to bother writing an appology or explanation letter to you this time.

Which actually sucks. Because going back, we had the best chats ever. We had mad fun on webcam, slightly drunk, but hilariously in love with each other.
Not in love like boyfriend/girlfriend love, just thought i'd clear that confusion up, but in love like best friends are.

You've done to me what you said I did to you.
I saw how much i hurt you the first time. You felt how much it hurt. So why did you do this to me?


And the even funnier thing is, Another friend also seems to find the heart to replace me. You accused me of being jealous and selfish when saying you replaced me? Well you fucking did, and don't act like you didnt. I have every right to be jealous and selfish, you were my best friend. But of course, you just thought i was playing you, right?

Wrong. What could i play you for? You're happily in lust with your boyfriend. You have your best friend (whom might i add hated me, and tried to ruin my plans of seeing you), you're happy in your life doing what you love.

And here i am, you being the only thread holding me together. And you just snip it clean off. There's no needle, no patchworks, i'm unravling at the speed of light. And now i'm standing here, threadless...


One day you will run into me. I have no doubt at all. You're not going to be able to look in my face with the shame that is currently just a seed in your gut, waiting to sprout.

You think you were nervous the first time you saw me? How do you think i felt, with that seed almost ready to harvest? But you unrooted that plant, threw it away, and left me happy, and for once feeling clean.


I look forward to seeing you again, one day.